MALIBU BIKINI SHOP / HARDBODIES 2 (1986)

TAKE ONE DEADLY HORROR FILM AND TWO JIGGLE MOVIES AND STAY HOME

Seattle Post-Intelligencer - October 14, 1986

Author: William Arnold P-I Film Critic

It used to be that movie distributors saved their lowest exploitation films for the summer audience. But with the vast number of hungry multiplex screens and an overall glut in exploitation production, the dogs of August now pop up all year long.

This week, for instance, a vacuum in the release schedule has invited a trio of summer-style exploitation pictures to hit town - a horror film, the long-delayed ''Deadly Friend''; and two beach pictures, ''Malibu Bikini Shop'' and ''Hardbodies 2.''

The first of these, Wes Craven's ''Deadly Friend,'' is a fairly routine ''teen-age Frankenstein'' movie reportedly bumped from the summer's schedule because of last-minute exhibitor anxiety over the failure of the previous summer's cycle of teen-age Frankenstein movies.

Based on a book by Diana Henstell, the film is about a teen-age genius (Matthew Laborteaux, of TV's ''Little House on the Prairie'') who implants an artificial-intelligence chip into the cortex of his brain-dead girlfriend.

In true Frankenstein tradition, the girl-monster soon runs amok and, faster than you can say Boris Karloff, is twisting off the head of her abusive, sicko father and doing in the grouchy neighbor who had earlier stolen her basketball.

Under the direction of horror veteran Wes Craven, this film treads the narrow line between satire and playing it straight rather well, and is always technically a cut or two above the level of the average exploitation horror vehicle.

But the film is so predictable and so unremarkable in every way that anyone who thought Craven's ''Nightmare on Elm Street'' heralded the advent of a daring new horror -movie talent will find ''Deadly Friend'' a considerable disappointment.

Over in the next auditorium we have something called ''Malibu Bikini Shop,'' which was filmed in Santa Monica and Venice, and has nothing at all to do with Malibu (the title on the print I saw did not even mention Malibu - it was called ''The Bikini Shop'').

In any case, the film is a jiggle comedy about two odd-couple brothers who inherit a bikini specialty shop that is in rather (you should pardon the word) shaky financial condition, and have to mount a massive bikini promotion to save the place from extinction.

In its heart of hearts, this movie is an old-fashioned late '50s ''nudie'' and exists as an excuse to show topless and scantily clad women in a variety of peekaboo, teasing poses and situations.

But the young cast is surprisingly appealing; the script is never really vulgar. Director David Wechter has worked in a couple of very stylish video- style fantasy sequences. And a good supporting cast of Hollywood veterans (among them Frank Nelson, Kathleen Freeman and Jay Robinson) all help make this innocuous little movie a lot more tolerable than its title and premise might imply.

There are, however, no such redeeming features to ''Hardbodies 2,'' a sequel to last year's ''Hardbodies'' and the second summer T&A movie of the week.

Loosely a comedy about an American movie company filming on location in the Mediterranean, this one is straight, soft-core pornography that goes out of its way to be crude and vulgar every chance it gets.

Like ''Malibu,'' the dominant visual motif is the bare breast, but instead of teasing his audience, director Mark Griffiths absolutely overwhelms it with breast montages.

Indeed, his movie is virtually a documentary on the mammary organ - and one that is so overdone and thoroughly unimaginative that even the most dedicated connoisseurs of skin will probably be bored by it.

Memo: MOVIE REVIEW

(1) ** Deadly Friend, directed by Wes Craven. Written by Bruce Joel Rubin. Cast: Matthew Laborteaux, Kristy Swanson, Michael Sharrett. Warner Bros. Several theaters. Rated R.

(2) ** Malibu Bikini Beach, directed and written by David Wechter. Cast: Michael David Wright, Bruce Greenwood, Barbra Horan, Jay Robinson, Frank Nelson. International Cinema. Several theaters. Rated R.

(3) * Hardbodies 2, directed by Mark Griffiths. Written by Mark Griffiths and Curtis Scott Wilmot. Cast: Brad Zutaut, James Karen, Alba Francesca, Roberta Collins. Cinetel Films. Several theaters. Rated R.

WEEKEND WARRIORS (1986)

`WARRIORS` WEEKEND PASS TO BOREDOM

Sun-Sentinel - October 27, 1986

Author: ROGER HURLBURT, Entertainment Writer

Ever wonder why America has never been invaded by Romania?

Well, if we have slept at ease these many nights since August 1961, it`s because the Hollywood, Calif., branch of the Air National Guard has been ever vigilant.

In between their sophomoric branks, crude sexual jokes and dirty story get- togethers, the lads in uniform have kept us safe from the "slimy Commie hordes threatening to end civilization as we know it."

At least that`s the premise of director Bert (I`m-not-sure-what-I-really-do-in- show-business) Convy`s comedy film Weekend Warriors. While the film has one, possible two moments that garner a genuine laugh, this film should have remained AWOL.

The plot is utterly preposterous: The year is 1961 and a group of Hollywood film studio fellas -- actors, bit players, budding screenwriters, stuntmen and makeup artists -- are trying to stay out of regular military service by doing weekend stints at an Air National Guard base. Whew!

Sgt. Burge (Vic Tayback) is the gung-ho sort trying to whip the guys into shape. Good luck. Col. Archer (Lloyd Bridges) offers little encouragement; he`s a former actor who appeared in 86 "B" westerns ("and died in all of them.")

Add one more to the list, Lloyd.

This group of wisenheimers are tough to control. There`s a twerp, a macho man, a wise guy and a ring leader, the latter played by Chris Lemmon, son of actor Jack Lemmon.

And when the inactive status of these characters is suddenly classified as "active" -- much to the horror of Congressman Balljoy (Graham Jarvis) -- things really get out of hand.

So does the film. Guess who`s coming to watch a formal inspection? Why, none other than the Ambassador of Romania. Makes sense.

Aside from a brief chase between a Jeep and a truck laden with bottled water and an unspeakable "mooning" demonstration in the cafeteria, Weekend Warriors is a three-day pass to boredom.

Lemmon isn`t bad, but his material is. The rest of the cast walks through the film in one-take fashion. The finale, a cheap swipe of the funny ending to Bill Murray`s Stripes, has potential, but falls flat.

The R rating might make you think there`s lots of jiggle and flesh. Not so. The smattering of coarse language is gratuitous, too.

Save a few bucks; watch for this one in the video stores real soon

CLASS OF NUKE 'EM HIGH (1986)

`NUKE 'EM': TOXIC WASTE

The Record (New Jersey) - December 12, 1986

Author: By Will Joyner, Staff Writer: The Record
1/2@

CLASS OF NUKE 'EM HIGH: Directed by Richard Haines and Samuel Weil. Written by Haines, Mark Rudnitsky, Lloyd Kaufman, and Stuart Strutin. Photography, Michael Mayers. Special effects and makeup, Scott Coulter and Brian Quinn. With Janelle Brady (Chrissy), Gilbert Brenton (Warren), Robert Prichard (Spike), R. L. Ryan (Mr. Paley), James Nugent Vernon (Eddie), and others. Produced by Lloyd Kaufman and Michael Herz. Released by Troma Inc. Opens locally today. Running time: 78 minutes. Rated R: nudity, profanity, excessive violence and gore.

"Class of Nuke 'Em High," the latest from infamous Troma Inc., takes up where "The Toxic Avenger" left off earlier this year somewhere in North Jersey, along the outer limits of gleeful bad taste.

Actually, the Avenger himself doesn't show his ghastly mug for that, we must somehow wait for "Toxic Avenger II" but we do get another glimpse of his environmentally troubled hometown, Tromaville, which continues to look a lot like Jersey City.

"The Toxic Avenger," which exploited the timely question of nuclear-waste transport to serve up a trashy spread of horror effects and violence, was, heaven help us, something of a cult hit.

"Class of Nuke 'Em High," which slightly modifies the formula by adding a faulty nuclear-power plant, is and here I'm speaking very relatively and checking most of my professional ethics at the door a better-made movie. Maybe, heaven please help us, it won't be quite awful enough for bad-film fans, and will disappear quickly.

In this chapter of Tromaville's annals, teen-agers at the town's high school are having their highly questionable constitutions further altered by leakage from a nearby power plant. The water fountains spew blue goo. The Cretins, once the school's honor students, deal a home-grown marijuana that provides what they proudly call a "nuclear high. "

The story shakily revolves around an all-American couple, Chrissy and Warren (Janelle Brady and Gilbert Brenton), whose virginity preoccupies most of Tromaville High's population. The two are tricked into sampling the tainted drugs, and promptly go all the way sexually and in other physical ways that I can't bring myself to describe. Revenge is called for, without a doubt.

Unlike its predecessor, "Class of Nuke 'Em High" looks professionally photographed. The X-ray and laserlike special effects are a little higher tech. The skin-shriveling reveals more attention to gruesome detail. The costumes, especially those given to the futuristic Cretins, have a twisted sort of style.

"Dialogue" is still too optimistic a term to attach to the screenplay, but this plot gains coherence because most of the action takes place on the campus of a single school (a Bergen County institution that should want to remain nameless). The direction, by Troma veterans Richard Haines and Samuel Weil, is at least innocuous.